Return to Oslo.

Being back in Oslo was like returning to the office late at night because you’ve left your house keys on the desk – it’s a veritable grind. And then upon exiting for the car park you find you’ve been billed for the trouble.

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Extortionate prices and a prosaic air characterise proceedings. I’ve seldom so struggled to pick out positives amidst the nausea; the capital has the delightful charm of a dilapidated skip. Boring, lifeless, and rather without purpose, I think I’d rather run around an Edinburgh B&Q for half a week in my underwear than go back for a third time.

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Nevertheless, there remain some highlights from my four-day bimble:

1. The company was cracking, Duty-Free purchased alcohol further amplifying the extended soirée.

2. The hostel Wi-Fi was decent.

3. I stumbled across a seagull the size of an albatross. This amused me.

4. Norway’s Resistance Museum enlightened, and displayed an impressive array of period pieces.

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I am told that the ugly tedium of the city in no way reflects provincial Norway, nor the country’s incredible wilderness. I shall investigate and report back.

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